2 a.m thought.

How often is it that we find ourselves regretting all the choices that we’ve made, and the ones we never will? It’s 2 am and all I can think about is letting you go; not saying anything when I had what they call the BEAUTY OF ETERNITY. It’s 2 am and all I can think about is how badly I messed up my last quiz because God knows where was my mind at. It’s 2 am and I’m tracing patterns on the wall, listening to the silence of the night and trying to make sense of why it’s more noisy when there’s no sound. It’s 2 am and I have everywhere to be and nowhere to belong. It’s 2 am and the voice in my head is telling me to close my eyes, but sleep doesn’t come. Sleep never comes when I want it. Love never comes when I want it. Nothing ever comes when I want it. Everything in my life comes uninvited, and for some inexplicable reason, I will never quite get used to the art of welcoming unexpected guests
#2a.m thoughts

Second best.

She was never adaptive. It never was her strongest attributes. She always lacked courage to leave people and places and things. She built a strong ever lasting connection with everything she held or touched or felt. She loved with every fibre of her being. She knew she wasn’t the best. She acknowledged this fact. She was never good enough for anything. She wasn’t fantasy. She wasn’t anything special either. Her eyes didn’t shine bright. She wasn’t poetry. She wasn’t any marvellous creation. She was just a silly girl who was silly enough to be happy to be the second best.
#heart #sad

Confused

I didn’t realise where we were headed, I didn’t realise how important it was to be happy, I didn’t realise how difficult it actually is to be happy, I didn’t realise how ambiguous everything is and will be, I didn’t realise a storm was headed in my direction. I didn’t realise I was an unhappy person until I felt the real joy of being happy. Until one day I realized how it actually feels to be happy. It’s unreal to be happy, it’s like you’re on a constant high and you’re living in a fantasy. You’re glowing with all the vibrant colors. You start wondering why were you gloomy before. A state of happiness. Complete and utter satisfaction shouldn’t exist. It corrodes your insides, it makes you weak and vulnerable, leaves you hollow and empty.